The book description or marketing copy for Egos Eclipsed went through more drafts than anything I have ever written. I started drafting it two years before the book was done. In the final rush of doing everything self-publishing entails, I went with what I had at the time.
I knew that marketing calls for different skills than creating fiction. However, I did not “get” marketing. So, the drafting has continued. After seven months of pondering how to improve my marketing copy, Book Description 2.0 is going live.
Here is the original description, the one being replaced:
So, everything is different, finally, but everything seems broken. You — twenty-first century you — who still have much to learn, must come to the aid of your polarized, fractured country as it tries to re-find its way during a presidential election. In a near-future world (where water systems breed diseases, corrupt public servants abuse the marginalized, military managers dabble in politics, and many in the street struggle to see beyond their noses) wisdom is seldom encouraged. Eighteen-year-old homeschooled microbiologist, Chik Cantera, was told national secrets too sensitive to write down by retired aerospace engineer Meeko Gallantos. Chik falls for Hasti Ferdowsi, the twenty-three-year-old, Iranian-American intelligence sub-contractor shadowing him. FBI agent Fran Osgood watches them both (plus the mystery disease “Psycheimers” and eco-terrorists organizing on the Darknet) for her uncle, Secretary of Defense Dennis Stoppard, who requires Gallantos’ secrets to keep international peace. This contemporary, literate thriller shows a new way for authentic Americans to stand up for the planet and its people.
I was packing in loads of information about the plot. But was I giving potential readers reasons to make the click? Before writing my updated description, I familiarized myself with book descriptions found on the internet and the jackets of books on my shelves.
I doubt that this will be my last attempt to describe this book. But for now, this is what I am going with:
In near-future California, during a presidential election year, things are falling apart as never before. To escape inevitable drowning, innocent, isolated eighteen-year-old, homeschooled biologist Chik Cantera needs a lot of help fast. Environmental warming, a mysterious brain-rotting disease, terrorism, rabid right-wing politicians, and confused military intelligence agencies around the world put Chik Cantera at the center of a global security crisis.
To survive, he must discover his convictions, resist ego gratification, and appreciate hidden depths in everything and everybody. Several capable, grounded older women, including his mother, and girlfriend Hasti Ferdowsi, guide Chik’s journey to the surface. Egos Eclipsed is a post-modern coming of age with overtones of magical realism, some post-polarized political brainstorming on reinvigorating democracy, and a parable promoting non-dual psychological and metaphysical insights. Resist the rough beast now.
Please leave a comment if you see how this might be improved.
