I knew that marketing calls for different skills than creating fiction. However, I did not “get” marketing. So, the drafting has continued. After seven months of pondering how to improve my marketing copy, Book Description 2.0 is going live. 

Here is the original description, the one being replaced:

So, everything is different, finally, but everything seems broken. You — twenty-first century you — who still have much to learn, must come to the aid of your polarized, fractured country as it tries to re-find its way during a presidential election. In a near-future world (where water systems breed diseases, corrupt public servants abuse the marginalized, military managers dabble in politics, and many in the street struggle to see beyond their noses) wisdom is seldom encouraged. Eighteen-year-old homeschooled microbiologist, Chik Cantera, was told national secrets too sensitive to write down by retired aerospace engineer Meeko Gallantos. Chik falls for Hasti Ferdowsi, the twenty-three-year-old, Iranian-American intelligence sub-contractor shadowing him. FBI agent Fran Osgood watches them both (plus the mystery disease “Psycheimers” and eco-terrorists organizing on the Darknet) for her uncle, Secretary of Defense Dennis Stoppard, who requires Gallantos’ secrets to keep international peace. This contemporary, literate thriller shows a new way for authentic Americans to stand up for the planet and its people.

I was packing in loads of information about the plot. But was I giving potential readers reasons to make the click? Before writing my updated description, I familiarized myself with book descriptions found on the internet and the jackets of books on my shelves.

I doubt that this will be my last attempt to describe this book. But for now, this is what I am going with:

In near-future California, during a presidential election year, things are falling apart as never before. To escape inevitable drowning, innocent, isolated eighteen-year-old, homeschooled biologist Chik Cantera needs a lot of help fast. Environmental warming, a mysterious brain-rotting disease, terrorism, rabid right-wing politicians, and confused military intelligence agencies around the world put Chik Cantera at the center of a global security crisis.

To survive, he must discover his convictions, resist ego gratification, and appreciate hidden depths in everything and everybody. Several capable, grounded older women, including his mother, and girlfriend Hasti Ferdowsi, guide Chik’s journey to the surface. Egos Eclipsed is a post-modern coming of age with overtones of magical realism, some post-polarized political brainstorming on reinvigorating democracy, and a parable promoting non-dual psychological and metaphysical insights. Resist the rough beast now.

Please leave a comment if you see how this might be improved.

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My debut novel, Egos Eclipsed, shines a search beacon into the later 2020s. To succeed would require equal parts tunnel vision, intuition, and self-discovery. What I thought it was about morphed as it grew, which caused problems and opportunities. 

The energy high of writing creatively ebbed with time. I am no longer overcome with the urge to blurt out, “Look at me! I made this.” Instead, I suggest, “Look at this story and see if it helps you untangle your relationship with the world as it hosts the emergence of endless, unprecedented “inflection points.”

What would Dad think?

As I wrote Egos Eclipsed, I didn’t think about my father any more or less than usual. He died over five years before I started thinking about it. None of the characters have any obvious resemblance to him. But, with the book published, I wondered what he would have made of the MAGA debacle and my attempts to satirize it. I don’t remember my mother or father ever revealing how they had voted. A couple of times, Mom said, “Our votes probably canceled each other out.” Did she know how he had voted?  Dad would have certainly hated Trump’s racial bigotry and unscrupulous business practices. However, he might have figured that Trump would know how to manage the domestic economy and keep us out of unnecessary foreign wars. 

 Dad was a lifelong Republican, a World War II vet, and a real estate broker. As a young man, he repeatedly put his life on the line for democracy from the inside of bomb-laden B-29s. His generation upheld their end of the bargain — at personal cost. He earned the right to keep his thoughts private. 

I was born nine weeks before a B-29 flown out of Tinian dropped Little Boy on Hiroshima. Strictly speaking, I fall into the Silent Generation. Still, my guilt by association gets worse and worse. That the Boomers let the Greatest Generation down is now a cliche. Did American society rot overnight? Was it rotten all along? Or, does society provide more individuals than ever opportunities to be themselves? Answers may vary. 

Alternative political parties

While I know little about politics, I have a fair idea of what life was like in Seattle, Washington, when Dwight Eisenhower was our 34th President. Polarization was not a thing. Contemporary political polarization might not abate until one side destroys the other. Alternatives intervening from the middle seem more like a prayer than a prediction. But, collaborative forces could finally prevail. A revitalized two-or-three-party system could honor the Constitution. These future parties would be better at listening to people in general. They would be more transparent and quicker to deal with internal corruption. They would explain how they raise money and what they do with it. They won’t allow big tech to run roughshod over everybody’s privacy rights with hardly a peep. As a minimum, they will banish big money from politics. Since the Supreme Court is also part of the problem, future legislation should provide additional guardrails. 

The tricky part will be limiting hyper-big businesses without stifling innovation and focusing regulations on abuses so that companies are improved rather than destroyed. We might always need two strong political parties. But that doesn’t mean we need the kind we have now. They are good at collecting donations. They lack intellectual honesty and coherent, effective policies. 

Saving democracy

Some people enjoy incessantly debating who contributed the most to our polarization. Such a path offers no opportunities for reconciliation. Getting beyond polarization will require much of all parties. The biggest question is whether it will be sufficient for the Grand Old Party to self-destruct, or will the Democrats have to blow up their equally problematic coalition as well? 

Will supporters of democracy unite and defeat the autocrats? It happens in movies. In the real world, democracy requires prerequisites. It is an open question whether or not we citizens still have what it takes to fulfill the minimum conditions. This is too important to be left to the activists or lobbyists. Everybody with a stake in the game needs to ante up.

I can juggle four hats. I am prepared to dig deeper. I am building my brand as authentically as I know how. It is continually stress-tested. I still want to become all I can be.

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My second shock was that there were still issues to be found. So I read the third draft straight through for the first time. It was like reading somebody else’s book. I had been dictating into my phone on a non-linear, half-pantsing, half-outlined basis for several years. Events had been reorganized. Sub-plots had been dropped. What it became was different than how it started. This is all to be expected. But I can’t help but wonder what it would be if I had not thrown so much material away.

The third wave of realization came after I started producing an audiobook version on Google Play — listening to the auto narration read it aloud. To be sure, minor issues are still to be found. But mainly, my writer’s relationship has morphed into a publisher’s relationship. Now, publishing is all-consuming, but in a very different way. Launch is just a few weeks off.

(first published on 15 June 23)

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